Random Rantings: Vol 2


Enough stupidity exists in the world today. Quite a lot actually can be attributed to people with little or no sense of general public behaviour (read: celebrities) and who often make a fool of themselves, not regarding the feelings of people like me who would rather stuff a sock in their ears than hear the crap they come up with. So an extension to the already “hit” Random Rantings Vol 1. looks seemingly imminent and with it a new list of common annoyances that nullify the very purpose of human evolution.

1. People who try to make small talk:

Now, I’m not a very sociable person and there’s a reason for that. Like I said earlier, enough stupidity exists in the world today and I wouldn’t want to dip my feet into it if I can help it. Part of that involves limited interaction with strangers because you never know when someone’s going to say the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard and you’d have to live with it for the rest of your life. Its more serious than you think. So if I’m sitting in a corner minding my own business, the last thing I need is someone trying to make forced conversation with me. Sure I’ll let you know what time is it but I will certainly NOT discuss the weather or politics or any topic that tickles you fancy with you. Nor will I let you interview me because neither am I a celebrity, nor do I share my stuff with strange freaks like you. Thats not harsh, thats just a nice way of saying, Bugger off mate.

2. Sms language when used out of place:

I’m not a fan of sms language. But I have to agree upon the fact that 160 characters are often not enough to express yourself and hence the relevance of the sms “tongue”. But what annoys me is when sms language is used outside the realm of mobile texting. It’s everywhere nowadays; Blogs, Social Networking websites, Forums etc. At this rate it wont be long before we say goodbye to proper spellings and dump the memory of them at the back of the already rusting brain of ours. It’s when the dictionaries start including  sms-words, that you know that the language is doomed and no amount of Spelling Bee tournaments is going to help. Imagine a bunch 6 year olds being taught how to express laughter in the near future by their sms addicted teachers: “Kids repeat after me: L O L Z!”

3. Fake Accents:

For me, what’s analogous to spelling mistakes in writing, is fake accents while speaking. I’m probably not the first person who loathes fake accents, but I felt a necessity to mention it here. The simple argument stands as follows: “If God wanted everyone on Earth to speak the same way, he wouldn’t have created the concept of languages and dialects”. There’s nothing funnier (and more annoying) than watching an Indian attempting to recreate an American accent. To him, an American accent is “Cool” and makes him seem “Intelligent and well educated”. Though I must admit that the sing-song Indian English accent does often make us look stupid. Still that is not an excuse enough to be subjecting people to your abject performance of speech that makes it seem like someone stuffed a lot of mothballs into your mouth and then gave you a proper spanking.

4. Celebs that Tweet:

I cannot count the number of times a day I imagine the world free of stupid celebrities. It would be a boon indeed. Twitter is a new way of torturing the already tortured soul of mine, and thats saying a lot since I hardly even use the service! Blame it on the “News channels” and other media for bringing me all the latest tweets by celebrities and force feeding me the utter nonsensical chaos of their lives. Privacy meant something in the good old days, but today if a celebrity says that he/she needs privacy then that would either mean that they’re up to no good, or they’re in serious need of some media attention and publicity. It seems like someones purposely rubbing my nose into the lives of people that I don’t even care about. When SRK takes a dump or what Karan Johar thinks about homosexuality or what Priyanka Chopra had for lunch, I simply do NOT care. Guys, just do your thing in the movies and move on ’cause you are a bunch of glorified losers to me.

5. Inspired music:

Inspiration is a tricky word and there’s a fine line between it and something called Plagiarism. The concept of Inspired music is an oxymoron. Art when copied isn’t art, and thats why you don’t hear about a painting or a book  which is similar to another. There are probably a million permutations and combinations of notes, chords and melodies, yet if someone tells me that a piece of music has been “inspired” from another, ill have none of it. Its just another way of saying “My lazy ass was too tired and out of ideas, so I copied stuff from a place you’ve never even heard of, and added my own lyrics to it”. Common errants in the Indian film industry include Anu “I like to judge” Malik, Bappi “One hit wonder” Lahiri, Jatin-Lalit, Pritam et al.

6. Semi nude models on billboards:

Keep your eyes on the road, is what you’re taught at driving school. But what do you do if there’s a huge billboard of a semi nude, incredibly hot model staring you in your face, trying to sell god knows what product? Who wouldn’t take a peek, a glance? And thats the reason it’s put there as well, for people to look up, get distracted and probably get hypnotized into buying that product. This is an unnecessary interruption in my driving that I can certainly do without. There are a hundred things I need to look out for while driving on Indian roads. I need to avoid animals, potholes, pedestrians, other vehicles, more potholes, and policemen. Shouldn’t there be some kind of legislation on how hot a model should be put up on billboards for distracting commuters? Maybe a really hot one on a highway, and a behenji type on busy roads for starters! If there can be a law against driving while drinking then there should almost certainly be on on driving while ogling.

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Sid on July 30, 2010 at 2:18 pm

    nice article man!! you guys are doing great..congrats!!

    Reply

  2. lol. Funny man. Your articles are excellent and made me laugh. I’d like to keep coming back for your amazing skills dude.

    Reply

  3. Thanks for the kind words! We hope we can continue making more people laugh. Do spread the word about the blog.. Cheers!

    Reply

  4. I love these types of blogs! I have created a web site from where I will promote web sites. – The harder I work the luckier I get. Samuel

    Reply

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