The Top 10 Superheroes in Indian Politics


As kids, we would gape into the television sets in sheer awe of these strange and yet, unearthly figures. Terrific superpowers, classy villas up on rooftops and yes, the all very promiscouous WAG’s (read Women and Girlfriends) thronging them by their sides. The superheroes had it made didn’t they – Power, Fame and Immortality!! I wish I had some bottle with a dash of superhero elixir in it.
Notwithstanding thoughts, ideas and passions that may seep through our veins ; didnt you know that we had these superheroes in our  very back yard? Sounds incredulous? For all you doubting toms, they’re a train ride away. Yes, they’re all in New Delhi. The elected representatives of the largest democracy of the world. Yes thats them all right.
Statistics and votes apart, what makes them all mighty are a few very good reasons. Truant as they always are, they shirk away from responsibility despite the countless rules framed. That takes a lot of guts, doesn’t it? They’ve got a posse of security( read police and goons) covering their every step. And they’ve got more followers on Facebook and Twitter than this blog has visits till date!! Definite characteristics of a superhero I might add.
The Passive pundits have finally released a list of 10 Jan-Sevaks who trule deserve to be counted as the heavy-weight superheroes of Indian Polity. The list contains the names of only those elected to the houses of Parliament.
1) Sonia Gandhi –  Don Sonia

She is undoubtedly the prima donna of Indian politics at present. She posses a very unusual garb for a superhero indeed. Her Italian Devanagri or her Devanagri Italian can be confusing- leaving the evil doers at a trance. She would then use her pallu to wallop the felon black and blue.
2) Manmohan Singh – Turbanator
Move over Harbhajan, the true Turbanator is here. Leading the life of an Economist whilst day, he dons the blue turban at night – giving dashes of nyctophobia to  goons who upset world peace. A dedicated side-kick to Don Sonia, he his the ultimate managerial taskmaster, who keeps the insanity in his cabinet at bay.
3) Mamata Banerjee – Lady Trainina
She is said to have risen from the sands of the hinterland. An emancipator of the downtrodden from the injustice of the powers-that be. Her war cry of Ma! Mati! Manush! ( Mother! Land! people!) sends shivers down the spine. A very simple attire really, nothing much to brag about. She abhors useless expenditure and, like Santa Claus, is said to provide trains right upto your doorstep if you’ve been nice.
4) Laloo Prasad Yadav – Two Face
The man who held sway at one time has been finding it tough to keep up with publicity. Once the Lord Trainina at the helm, he his now a part of an alliance, all prepared to wage a war to return to the higher echelons of power. I call him Two-FAce as he was once at power, doing good deeds for the masses, but now fights a bitter war to seek justice.
5) Jairam Ramesh – Captain Planet

Ever since the demise of Captain Planet from Cartoon Network, the world desperately needed a hero-figure to “take pollution down to zero”. No, he doesn’t have five planeteers with five rings each and, and neither does he have Gaia, the earth spirit by his side. This superhero might as well have the most enemies at his opposite end – Other superheroes, industrial supremos, environmental organizations – who swear to his oust. But cool as a cucumber with tufts of hair on opposite ends he simply blurts out – ” The POWER IS YOURS”.
6) Kapil Sibbal –  The Che
Viva LA REVOLUCION, is this superhero’s warcry.  He echoed ‘go!’ right  from the very onset, and charged past all-barriers. His revolutionary work much alludes to that of  the legendary Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevarra. A superhero not through powers, but definitely one in sprirt. A superhero much to be praised for and not to be mocked.
7) L. K. Advani-Safrroclops

His favourite colour is saffron. Lord Rama is his favourite god. He loves riding the ‘Chariot’ and he goes for weekend trips to Ayodhya, being his favourite destination. He bursts out saffron flashes of light whenever he takes off those glasses of his. He’s  a protoge of Atal Behari Vajpayee, aka Professor AB, who is now mostly confined to the chair.
8) Nitin Gadkari- The Incredible Hulk

A few months ago this behemoth well to be honest, cam out of nowhere in Indian politics. I heard the name first, and then exclaimed in ____, this guy  to lead the B-Men ( read BJP). I wondered what profound sense had driven them to conclude thus?? Nevertheless, A hulk in size , shape and definitely width a punch from his wrist would send the opponent whizzing past the Char Dhams in an instant. Despite an awkward sense during public speeches, for which he he has been repreoached repeately by the opposition, the hulk hopes to keep afloat.
9) A. Raja  – Doctor Do Little

This superhero hasn’t  infact been doing much but actually very little and has been the most nascent of all of these superheroes. He is mostly seen in telecom spectra and holds talks with telecom giants. He has doctored up so much for the BSNL employees, that they’re crying at the hands of uncouthly privatization. He has just retired and we are told , leads a quiet life in the hills near Ooty.
10) P. Chidambaram – Rambo

Fighting terrorists has always been his forte. Guerrila Warfare is currently his newest skill. The Naxals have literally put a price on his head. Armed with hundreds of jawans at his side, the man with miniscule brawns storms into the jungles, seeking to flush out rebels from the murky jungle depths. This Tamil Rambo is uncannily fluent in the Queen’s tongue.So, here’s a warning to the Naxals, the countless terrorist orgnizations in Pakistan with the prefix Al, the terrorist front on the North-East and all the insurgent groups within the Indian borders, beware!!

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15 responses to this post.

  1. […] is the original post: The Top 10 Superheroes in Indian Politics « The Passive Pundits Posted by feed on Jul 28th, 2010 and filed under Politics. You can follow any responses to this […]

    Reply

  2. Posted by Prachir on July 30, 2010 at 8:27 am

    nice portrayal of the superheroes from India. Makes me wonder shld i b proud or sad any ways nice writing, atlst sum 1 is following the indian politics.

    sad we have elected them 😦

    Reply

  3. What about Yediyurappa and Sidaramayya

    Reply

  4. Posted by Madhuri on August 2, 2010 at 9:31 am

    Glad that you guys focused on this..but if we dont elect them who do we elect?

    Reply

    • Hi Madhuri!! Great to know that more people are going through our blog these days.

      Yes, its a pity that we aren’t exactly spoilt for choices on election day. And yes its a terrible shame that we don’t even know who these candidates really are. Face the facts, corruption is fool-proof. But hey, if your conscience is right, go ahead. Do what we do. Mock at them.

      Cheers.

      Reply

  5. Posted by Madhuri on August 11, 2010 at 4:33 am

    We always mock them one time or the other…but the thing is who is listening?Is mocking going to stop them in anyway?

    Reply

    • The other day I recollected your first reply. Let me fall back upon that. There is a form available with the electoral officials which can be utilized if you do not deem any candidate fit enough. It is sad that most Indians are unaware of it.
      Mocking at a government only speeds hopes of change for a better government succeeding it.

      Reply

  6. Posted by wpolscemamymocneseo on January 11, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    Aw, this was a very nice post. In concept I want to put in writing like this moreover – taking time and actual effort to make a very good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and under no circumstances seem to get something done.

    Reply

  7. You completed certain good points there. I did a search about them matter and found most persons goes along with your blog. I do not define too much about this, i actually just wanted to get ideas from your site, but your post caught my attention.

    Reply

  8. I am so glad I came accross this today. Absolutely awesome and so true and i love it. thanks

    Reply

  9. Posted by priyank shah on May 9, 2011 at 8:39 am

    bakwas hi sab
    top 10 hiroas
    1-sardar patel
    2-mahatma gandhi
    3-lal bahadur shastri
    4-indira gandhi
    5-rajiv gandhi
    6-atal bihari vajapay
    7-narendra modi
    8-nitish kumar
    9-arun jetly
    10-manmohan sing{fast tarm}

    Reply

  10. It’s an interesting view for sure and I appreciate it so this is a little something for all…

    There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary and those who don’t. 🙂

    Reply

  11. Here’s a funny quote to make you smile 🙂

    Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand. 🙂

    Reply

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